Universal Truths That Parents Know To Be True

These are some universal truths that parents know to be true:
1) They think they are always right.
2) When you're having an argument, they think they're never the ones who started it.
3) They think that they know exactly what you're thinking, and when they actually get it wrong and you try to correct them, the answer is always, "You're always making excuses!"
4) When you're in the middle of something and they tell you they need you to do something, you finish what you're doing very quickly and rush over to them; only to be told that you're a lazy person who disrespects their parents by intentionally doing things slowly, when, in fact, what they're actually dealing with is fucking life.
5) They must never be offended. If they are, expect to never see the light of day again.
6) The younger sibling is always the prince/princess.
7) Insult your younger sibling and you're being immature.
8) If the younger sibling irritates you, you're the brat, not him/her.
9) They always bring up any past mistakes during a fight. If you bring up theirs, it's "irrelevant".
10) Let's take this back to Number One. They think they are always right.

Try to get inside my head, yeah? Think you know exactly how I'm thinking, is that right? Well, you're wrong. So thanks for trying to sound smart, and ending up looking like a fool.

- Maddie the mermaid