Rant OK OK I'M PISSED

My phone died so I had to write this on a piece of paper because I just had to get this out and I'm just so revolted. I'm on a train back to Paris from a school trip with 24 other kids.
First thing is that were I using the cliché terms, I would be a misfit, an outcast. I'm okay with that. I have eight best friends in real like and about a hundred more online and I love them all.
Anyway, this means I don't have a normal group of people I hang out with normally. You know how in movies there's always the mean girls(!) and the awesome less popular girls that everyone roots for? Yeah, well, these are the girls I've been sort of hanging around during this field trip. They're nice, right? They are. Of course they are, there the good guys, they're supposed to be nice.
But I'm sitting here on the sidelines yet again as they flip through our yearbook and through our grade's class photo. I'm hearing them call girls 'pretty' or 'ugly' and guys are 'hot' or 'gross' and I can't believe what I'm listening to. I'm hearing a few of my friends' names and still I say nothing; it's seriously all just a blur of "ugly, pretty, ugly, ugly, ew, hot, gross, pretty".
And they're all laughing about it. "It's just some harmless fun," they'd say, but it's not harmless, not at all. It's hurtful and mean and insulting and derogatory. They act like rating our classmates is normal and the terrifying thing is that it is. Words like 'fat' and 'ugly' are thrown around like they mean nothing. And I'm just sitting here thinking, "these are supposed to be the good guys? What kind of world do we live in that the good guys aren't even good?"
Someone please get me out of here right now because all of this is disgusting and it's making me physically nauseous and I think I'm going to be sick.
Incidents like this remind me why I enjoy being alone. I have tried being social and the verdict stays the same. I dislike it. Whatever made people so judgmental? It must be exhausting, judging people for no reason. Just shut the fuck up and fucking enjoy what privileges you've been given.

 

Some Flash-Fiction From The Fantastic Chuck Wendig

'ello. Time for some writing. You can find the prompt on Chuck Wendig's blog here.
Ta-daaaaa.
100 word flash-fiction in all of its short glory.

~ ~ ~

he has that stupid, self-righteous smirk on his face. like this, all this, means nothing.
"you won't actually do it," he says. casually, jeans swung low. "you don't have it in you. never have, never will."
"you don't know me." my teeth grate, reverberating loudly in my head. he doesn't care. doesn't care that my world has blown up and it is his fault. "i will kill you and i will enjoy every second of it."
he laughs - the nerve - and i don't think. the bullet has stopped his heart, and it is thrilling.
i am powerful.
i am god.

~ ~ ~

- Maddie the Mermaid

Universal Truths That Parents Know To Be True

These are some universal truths that parents know to be true:
1) They think they are always right.
2) When you're having an argument, they think they're never the ones who started it.
3) They think that they know exactly what you're thinking, and when they actually get it wrong and you try to correct them, the answer is always, "You're always making excuses!"
4) When you're in the middle of something and they tell you they need you to do something, you finish what you're doing very quickly and rush over to them; only to be told that you're a lazy person who disrespects their parents by intentionally doing things slowly, when, in fact, what they're actually dealing with is fucking life.
5) They must never be offended. If they are, expect to never see the light of day again.
6) The younger sibling is always the prince/princess.
7) Insult your younger sibling and you're being immature.
8) If the younger sibling irritates you, you're the brat, not him/her.
9) They always bring up any past mistakes during a fight. If you bring up theirs, it's "irrelevant".
10) Let's take this back to Number One. They think they are always right.

Try to get inside my head, yeah? Think you know exactly how I'm thinking, is that right? Well, you're wrong. So thanks for trying to sound smart, and ending up looking like a fool.

- Maddie the mermaid

Internet Friends

You know, I mean to write at least once a week, I really do.
Not very good at keeping that promise, though.
So, in March, I passed a birthday and also completed a goal I've aimed for since I was little: I finished my first novel before age thirteen. (Granted, it was 3 am the day after, but I added in the time difference, and voilà.) I'm pretty excited about that, though not about the editing. I've never properly edited before, like, rewriting and all. I'm more of a spontaneous writer; what comes out, comes out. But I'll have to buckle down and edit eventually. :P
I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month. For anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's the 'camp' version of National Novel Writing Month, in November where the goal is to write 50k words in that month. Camp is the same thing essentially, but more free, so you can pick what projects you work on and pick your word count.
At the moment, though, I'm spending the first week of Camp 'studying' for exams. And maybe other things. (shh.)
Hm.
I don't really know what I wanted to talk about in this post. I just really want to write something. I could talk for a while about how much I love music, because I really do, it's the best thing ever. Or I guess I could talk about the wonderful friends I've made over the internet.
I have so many more close friends on the internet that I've never met than the ones in real life. Don't get me wrong, I have a few close IRL friends that are just the best people ever. But to be honest, I'd rather hang out with some of my internet friends more. And as bad as that seems, with the whole 'stalker thing', I just think it's easier. Whether it's because I'd rather not show my face while talking, r whether it's just because my area doesn't seem to have the people I click with, I don't know.
And if any of my IRL friends are reading this, don't be offended. You might be one of the few I don't hate. Might.
Heh.
I'm joking.
(Mostly.)
But I know the dangers of meeting people online, and I do try to be careful, I do. I get a little sloppy sometimes, but I do genuinely try. The ones who I'm closest with have Skyped with me a few times, and I think it'd be just the best thing ever if I met them in person.
What if they're nothing like I expect though? I expect they will be different. And I guess that's okay. Perfect friends are annoying anyway.

-Maddie the Mermaid

Mermaids & Me

So it's been a while.
Yeah.
*rocks back and forth sheepishly*
You see, I could stand(sit) here and make jokes about how I was busy, or I could just say that I was too lazy. Which is true. >.>
I have another blog on Wordpress that's dedicated to book reviews. You can find it here.
So yes, that's that.
The last time I wrote a post on this blog, it was about I was a mermaid, and how people around me were reacting to it. I wrote that it was difficult for me at times to try to keep a straight face and be serious, with everyone around me laughing as I raised my hand and said, "I'm a mermaid." They just didn't seem to get it. They would say something along the lines of "Oh, you're a mermaid? I must be a werewolf!"
First: don't insult me. I'm not a werewolf fan, but I'm not knockin' anyone who does, 'kay? But don't compare us to werewolves.
Second, sometimes I can't tell if they're mocking me or being serious. O.o
My closest friends as school were the best at accepting that, though. I could say it to their faces and they wouldn't laugh. They didn't really agree with me entirely, but they didn't say anything negative about it. And that was pretty much the awesomest thing that they could have done–nothing. By not saying anything, it gave me more confidence to continue claiming this as public knowledge. :) Eventually, though, they accepted it whole-heartedly. I remember the turning point, it was fantastic.
It was raining that day, and there were puddles all over the place. I was standing under a ledge where the rain couldn't get to us with my closest friends, and we were talking when some kid ran by, splashing dirty, muddy rain water all over me. I stumbled backwards and started 'ew'-ing all over the place.(come on, I mean, who wouldn't?)
The first thing that my friend said(once they'd stopped laughing) was, "Y'know, for a mermaid, you sure are squeamish about some rainwater."
That made me more happy than she could possibly ever know. It meant that I had finally been seen a mermaid in their eyes. It meant that when they thought 'mermaid', their first thought was 'Maddie'. And that was the most gratifying feeling ever. Keep in mind that this is a couple months after I announced that I was a mermaid.
Now, my next worry was my old friends. My old friends back in California. I've known them all my life, and they're some of my dearest friends and most hated enemies(my school was weird). They could be my best friends or my worst enemies. They could be kind or they could be hateful. And that doesn't mean that this applies to all of them.
I wasn't sure what their reactions would be when I would go home and announce that I was a mermaid. I didn't want to be doing that again. I thought they'd judge me more than the friends here.
This, above, is what my original post said.
I deleted it.
I deleted it because it's not true anymore. I found that my friends didn't judge me, and that they've changed a lot, for the good or for the bad, I don't know–yet. But I do know that I can be as open as I fricking want to, because I'm a mermaid, and I'm not afraid to say it anymore.
This is more recent:
I met this girl at camp. Let's call her Ella. She was one of the greatest people I've ever met, and I hope that I'll see her again sometime. The camp was in France, building tree houses in the forest for three weeks. She was one of the only English speakers there, aside from me, my brother, two friends, and two brothers from Saudi Arabia. She lives across the globe.
Even though I only spent three weeks with her, I can't say I've ever had a better friend within that time. Within the first week, I think I could say that she was my best friend, and not just at camp. I've never connected with anyone like that–ever. She listened and she understood, and I've never been as open as I was with her as I've been with anyone else. I'm not a talking-feeling kind of person to begin with–that's why I'm a writer, I can say everything I feel, without actually saying it. But she was so awesome and she didn't cal me crazy, even though she'd only known me for a week.
I have another best friend back in Cali, and I love her to bits, I do. But we're different in many ways, and we both have very different views on, well, everything. But Ella and I were like puzzle pieces, the exact ones. She's just amazing, and I miss her everyday. We send emails occasionally, but she has a life(unlike me :P) so she doesn't really respond most of the time. And emails don't really do social interaction any justice.
Anyway, back to the point.
Ella was the first person to ever accept me as a mermaid so fast. She was just...ugh! I love her to death. When I said, "Did you know that I'm a mermaid?" her response was, "That's cool."
I took my toothbrush out of my mouth, rinsed it, and hugged her tight as I could. I just love her asdfghjkl ♥
And I can't forget another friend that's been wonderful to me the whole way through. Let's call her Annie. She is also a mermaid, and a very open one, at that. Even more so than me, and I admire her so much for it, though I know that if I tried to push myself, I wouldn't be so socially incompetent. :P
But anyway, I've never met Annie in person. I met her online, but I trust her completely. She first helped me realize who I was. I've always had a thing for water, and now, à grace d'Annie, I know what it is. :)
So that just about wraps up today's more-emotional-than-usual post, and hopefully I'll be doing this more often. 'Cause, you know, the last post was in June.
Heh.

Gay Marriage

I don't understand the people against gay marriage. I just don't understand them. I think that there are several reasons that people hate gays.
1) They are religious.
So what if this guy likes that guy? What does that have to do with you? And to all those parents who disown their sons and daughters because they're gay, what kind of parents are you? You're supposed to love your children no matter who the are.
2) They think gays are wrong.
What do you mean, wrong? Wrong how? Wrong for simply loving? No, you know what? THOSE people are wrong. They're wrong because they can't accept people for who they are.
3) They are homophobic.
Why are gays scary?! That's right; they're not. What's wrong with you homophobics? They're just people, like you and me. And if them being gay changes your view of them, well, then, that's YOUR problem, not theirs.
4) They think that the "children" are in danger.
Sigh. I just don't understand this. Very recently in Paris, there have been protests and parades against the legalization of gay marriage. They wave flags that have the silhouettes of a woman, a man, their daughter, and their son. They say that they're protesting against gay marriage for the sake of the children. What are they TALKING about? I'm not quite sure what they mean, but it sounds like they think, to be a family, you must have a man and a woman and their children. They're "worried" that the children will grow up deprived because they have two moms or two dads.
What does it matter? As long as the kid(s) is/are loved by their parents, it doesn't matter if they're gay or not.
Jesus, people need to grow up and get over it. Gays exist. Suck it up.
-Maddie the mermaid

Magical Creatures & Ignorant Humans

Magic.
That's it; just magic.
If I ask people what they think magic is, they usually just laugh in my face, and tell me magic doesn't exist.
1) Laughing in someone's face is rude.
2) Magic exists.
'Course, at this point, people are going to say, "Well, then show me some magic, then." To which I would say, "I DON'T HAVE ANY."
Then they would laugh again, and say, "If you can't prove it, it doesn't exist."
Oh, COME ON! If I had magic, I wouldn't be talking to people who do that. And of course I don't have magic; I was born into the wrong body, remember?
But just because I don't have magic, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I mean, think about this. There's the eternal question: if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it still make noise?
Of course it makes noise! Just because no one was there, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Same with magic. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean that magic isn't in the air.
Magic is just too smart; they know what humans would do if proof was ever found of their existence. Humans are the most greedy, destructive race to ever walk this earth, and they know it. We're beyond selfish, and we only care about making ourselves rich and powerful. This is a general statement, of course. I've met a lot of kind, caring people that would to anything to help their fellow earthwalkers.
But all the people up there, in the high places where their opinions matter, don't care. We've all seen them in movies before. The dad who pays no attention to their children, only on getting richer and more successful. They end up tearing down something their kids love, like their school, or their favorite park. The kids end up hating their dad, and then he feels bad. The dad finds some way to make it up to them, like rebuildig their school. By then end of the movie, he's a better person, and a better dad, and everyone lives happily ever after.
But back to reality now.
There are actually people like that, but unlike the movie, they never change. They live for money, and then they die, leaving behind a legacy, a legacy of power and money.
NO.
Do you know what would happen if someone found proof of the existence of magic? Chaos. That's what.
The world would go on a magic craze, and everyone would be searching for more magic, because humans will never have enough. If someone caught a fairy, she'd be locked in a cage, forced to bow to humans' every whim. She'd be a government test, and probably be cut open for dissection.
Or a mermaid. She'd be in an aquarium for the rest of her life, and same goes for mermen. Humans are too eager to advance in the field of technology. Or rather, to find magic that will allow them to do that.
What makes us them think that anybody would help them after being kidnapped or almost dissected? Why would they think that any magical creature would willingly help them? They'd use them for their own personal gain.
And don't you think that if they wanted to expose magic, they'd have done it themselves? Why haven't they, you ask? Well, because they already know what would happen. They're far too smart for humans.
I, myself, would love to have magic in my life. To be able to use it, to wield it. I don't deny that I want magic more than anything. I'm human after all(sadly). But unlike most people, I'd rather have magic kept hidden from prying human eyes than be able to wield it myself.
Magical creatures included. I always promise myself that if/when I ever encounter a magical creature in danger of being discovered, I'll do everything I possibly can to help them.
My pledge: I swear to help any magical creature in danger of being discovered, and to do all I can to protect their secret. I will help them in any way I  possibly can.
Magic is special, and it deserves to be kept a secret.

-Maddie the mermaid